RED FLAGS TO LOOK FOR WHEN BEGINNING A NEW RELATIONSHIP
In beginning a relationship, there are many signs to look for in order to prevent getting involved with someone who is emotionally or physically abusive. Below are a number of "Red Flags" that have been identified by women who have struggled through abusive relationships:
1. Does he have a job? Why doesn't he?
2. Does he have an ex-wife? What does he call her?
3. Does he show up unexpectedly without giving you notice or want you to change
your plans to fit his?
4. Does he have children? Does he visit them?
5. Does he pay child support?
6. Is he a substance abuser? Does he drink alcohol or do drugs or both?
7. Does he read porno magazines, watch porno movies? Does he want you to do
things he's seen in either one that cause you to feel uncomfortable?
8. What was his reaction when you told him you wanted to go to school, college,
get a job. or go out with your friends without him?
9. Does he hit on your girlfriends?
10. What does he call your best friend or any friend?
11. Does he have displaced aggression? Consciously or unconsciously finding fault
with something that is not related to the problem at hand? He is angry because
of something that happened at work or on the way home then takes it out on
you or others with whom he has a close relationship?
12. Does he have a quick temper and low impulse control? Does he strike out
quickly, is easily provoked to anger, or uses a lot of physical aggression to
solve problems?
13. Does he have low self-esteem, a poor self image; does putting others down
help him feel better about himself?
14. Does he hate his mother? Does he have strong negative feelings toward his
mother, talking harshly or degradingly about his mother or women in general?
15. What was his home life like? Did he experience violence or witness abusive
situations in the home as a child?
16. Does he have a Jekyll-Hyde personality? Does he appear a great guy to most
outsiders, while at home a violent person?
